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Rise and shine!
What's it like to sleep for a whole year? Did you dream? I can't imagine what that's like. 7Zee puts you in a pod and then lights out for all that time... wow.
What's the Far, Far Range like? Have you started exploring? Is the air as clear as they say? I bet it's really beautiful.
I'm probably asking too many questions. I bet you have a lot of work to do on that ranch. I still can't believe it's yours now.
I guess I better leave you to it and just keep it short: good luck, Bea. If anyone can make it out there, it's you.
My pet cactus
I bought a cactus from you, sort of. When I came back home it was one of the only things left in your shop. Was a lonely little guy so I decided to adopt it.
You know I kill every plant I touch, but I promise you this one will last. I mean, If I can't keep a cactus alive then clearly something is really wrong!
When I look at it I think of you out there on the range, doing your thing. Hope you're ok.
Re: The big storm
I got your mail: of course I remember that day. I feel like that was when you and I really connected. It was raining so hard that the streets were flooding and we took shelter in that cafe. It was like a scene from a movie only we both looked like wet animals. And the guy running the shop was a real tyrant. The only way we could stay inside was by ordering one coffee after another.
I felt like we learned more about each other that day than ever. Maybe it was the coffee because we were both talking really, really fast. I told you about my dreams; making music and all that. At least that's how I remember it.
Walking home, when the rain came back you got closer to me and my heart was racing. But I couldn't blame that on the coffee.
The death hike
Do you remember when you took me hiking? I still didn't know how serious you were about the whole outdoors thing then and your idea of a hike just about killed me! I showed up in normal clothes and shoes and you were decked out and had a pack and gear, it was a nightmare for me, haha.
I think it was around the five mile mark, when I was drenched in sweat and ready to collapse that I realized our ideas of fun were two very different things. Also you weren't even out of breath then and I still totally hate you for that :)
Haha, it wasn't THAT bad. You just don't have the fortitude to make it as an artist, I guess. Beatrix LeBeau can climb a mountain before breakfast but can't spend a few days in a *ahem* modestly accommodated, breaks-down-only-half-the-time, VINTAGE touring van. You were so miserable. I still laugh about it.
But I really did appreciate it for those few days. It was great to have you in the crowd.
That van still runs by the way.
P.S. That was a lie. The van literally caught on fire while we were driving it. It died like a viking.
New Year's Eve
Do you remember New Year's Eve when we were looking for that party?
While we were wandering around the city, lost, I got my bearings and didn't tell you because I knew we were close to that coffee shop run by the tyrant. And since it was starting to rain I thought it would be really romantic to stumble across the place again. I guess I finally found the courage.
But the coffee shop went out of business and it was a taco place now. So, we ate tacos in the rain and it was just the best thing.
I kissed you that night on the roof of your old apartment hoping to see the fireworks. I was going to tell you something then but that's when you told me about Africa. It sounded like an amazing trip. I was really happy you were doing what you loved to do.
Thanks, Bea. I never knew you felt that way. I picture you out there on a safari, avoiding the clutches of lions on the savanna, riding elephants across raging rivers, and then, as you sit under the stars at night, your weathered hand opens up a locket and there's a picture of me inside. And then your loyal chimpanzee companion gives you a somber, knowing look.
Is that accurate? haha
Well, for what it's worth I missed you too when I was in LA. Uuugh, that bar was just awful, but atleast I got some stage time.
P.S. The chimp's name was Colonel Bananas.
The year we both came home, do you think it ever could have worked? I mean, being with you again instead of the long distance thing, that was great. I remember feeling really happy, but something was missing. We both knew that we were giving something up for it all.
I think about it all the time. That if we had been less honest about it all how you might still be running that little garden shop and I'd be still trying to write music out of a basement.
It doesn't matter. I should have told you then what I never did. I should have said it a hundred times.
I know, it was the right thing to do. I appreciate you letting me know, but it never felt the same as having you close by. London was an opportunity I couldn't pass up, an opportunity to tour and do what I love.
But I still missed you like crazy. And when you told me about going to the Far, Far Range it made me miss you even more, even before you were gone.
I guess that's just us: what we really want just so happens to be in different parts of the known universe. I mean, there's long distance and then there's being so far away that time itself might actually function differently. Why aren't there more songs about that, huh?
Re: Life is different now
I had a year to think about things while you slept on your way across the stars. I think it almost scared me when things got easier, and when I finally realized that what we each have now is what we wanted all along. Because if you're still the girl that I know, you're happy out there on the very farthest frontier.
And I hope the happiness you feel now lasts forever. I hope that the sunsets over there are as gorgeous as they are over here and that if you search far enough on a rainy day some rancher out there has a taco stand you can visit. I realize that the last one probably isn't likely to happen but it sure would be romantic, right?
I'm glad to have shared a part of me with you, Beatrix LeBeau. And I'm still happy to know that maybe one of these stars I see up in the sky is there with you.
There's another tour coming up and I have a feeling that this will be the one.
So here I am, packing my bags and thinking of you. Maybe this is how it felt when you were leaving for your big adventure. Lots of excitement, lots of butterflies.
And even though I know you're so far away, I keep thinking that maybe I'll catch you somewhere out there in the crowd.
If that ever happens, I promise I'll sing a song for you. It wouldn't be the first time.
- 0.5.1 - Implemented with the first 8 StarMails.
- 0.6.0 - Mails were made less clingy. Added 3 more mails.